Wednesday, May 10, 2006

In the News

As a confessed news junkie I generally run through a commentary in my head about the daily headlines (sometimes without reading the articles). So in an effort to get my blog jump-started here I have decided to share my commentary on the news…

At CNN:

Republican leaders agree on tax-cuts: Tax cuts sound good – but if the republicans want this – can it really be good for us? I’m skeptical.

Rumsfeld: Handle Iran intelligence with care Gee, really Don? Shouldn’t we handle all intelligence with care – although Donald Rumsfeld and intelligence in the same sentence is a stretch for me.

Putin: Russians must have more babies Ok. Why is this headline news? Does he want to replace the myth of the Chinese army standing side by side and encompassing the globe (not that I ever understood that—what about the oceans?)?

Blaine unconscious, convulsing during rescue Clearly a man with too much spare time—why do I care about this? There are children starving the world over—put them in the headlines damnit!

Britney pregnant one more time Again, do I care? Is she adopting a starving child or feeding the poor? No. She and her husband are having their second child in their ritzy California home and it will likely have everything a child could want for…

'Fat Man Walking' savors success Good feel-good story. Man on a spiritual journey to re-find himself. Maybe Britney and Blaine should start walking…

Vatican, Hollywood spar over 'Da Vinci Code' This is a joke right? Why would a religious organization spar with city a on another continent? And if they mean Hollywood the entity, that is even more silly—because it is not a specific thing or being to really spar with is it? It is a conglomeration of people with divergent views (Look at Mel Gibson, ok compare him to Shirley McClaine – Or Arnold (Whom I refuse to see as a politician) and Warren Beaty). And the Da Vinci Code is only a movie!

U.S. newborn survival rate ranks near bottom There is only one response to this . . . socialized medicine people…socialized medicine...it should fall under life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Dolphins, like humans, recognize names Duh! Why do humans feel they have the corner on intelligence (we could go back to the Rumsfled article here).

At Fox:

Cruise Concern I’ve been concerned about Cruise for awhile now, I confess. I don’t think he is taking his medication – and firmly believe he needs therapy.

Insurgents Kill 12 It’s a war (in spite of the fact that it was officially declared a victory by our fearless-feckless leader on May 2, 2003 (that’s 3yrs ago)) 12 insurgents died there yesterday….2,638 soldiers have thus far died 2,424 of them have been American. How many deaths will it take til he knows that too many people have died?

Former FEMA Chief Disputed Katrina Levee Breeches Um…didn’t we decide collectively that people who are fired from jobs organizing horse shows—are not qualified to head up the national emergency management? But then, we allegedly elected a man who has run several companies into bankruptcy… what did we expect from his lackeys?

Fox just makes me mad…moving on to ABC….

Letter Shows Iran's President Seeking Religious Bond With Bush Birds of a feather…in this case loony birds….

Plan Devised for Illegal Immigrant Hiring I know! I know! How about they get citizenship! Call me a bitch if you will...and yes I know we are a nation of immigrants, legal immigrants! We have rules damnit, if you can’t obey them from the beginning – do I want you here?

Bush Brothers Join in Fla. Fire Warning Bush brothers…they travel in packs...they scare me.

New Break in Search for Missing Anchor? I actually read this one, because I was baffled as to why we would be searching for a lost anchor—you know a hunk of metal at the bottom of the ocean—but it is about a news anchor and a man trying to do the right thing…cool story.

Saudi's Penis Reattached After Maid Cuts It Off Do I care?? Starving children people—dying soldiers…geez!

Nicole Kidman: Still Loves Tom Cruise Maybe they could go to group therapy?

And finally… 12 Species of Flies Get Federal Protection HELLO??? Starving children. Dying soldiers!!!!

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